The last couple of months have been hard. I have let the frustrations of life creep in, worries have sent waves of chatter through my mind and I have felt the mental exhaustion from over-thinking situations. These are all fed by my perfectionist tendancies that taunt me with the, 'I am not good enough' chatter in my head. Now, I know that I am good enough for God gave me my personality, my skills, my abilities, as He desired. However, when the burdens of life weigh you down, it is then that the imperfect thinking cranks up a level or two.
Weariness. I read the other day that the definition is having lost your passion or that your strength, endurance or freshness is at a low point. This word summed me up completely. My shoulders feel heavy under the weight of all that I have to do coupled with feelings of shortcomings. Lethargy that leaves you dragging yourself though the day with a loss of desire to engage. Weariness. I grow more weary by the day trying to overcome the weariness.
However, God is good. As my head hit the pillow the other night, my eyes closing to slip into the land of sleep, these words come into my mind. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" - Matthew 11v28. With heartfelt gratitude, I accepted His offer. I prayed for burdens to be lifted, my mind chatter to stop and for God to restore me in my spirit and my body. So many times last week, He reinforced that He is the source of my strength and all I need for this season. Words spoken by a friend, words that seem to stand out on a page...all timely reminders of how to find the rest and restoration I need.
Life is busy. Our days are full. When we are living life at light speed and feeling as though the momentum is pushing us at a pace that is impossible to sustain, we need to be still. Going faster is not the answer. I love how God reminds me of this in amongst the madness that is the days and weeks and brings me back to a place where I can find rest. His gentle and loving way of saying 'you need me now'. Our own strength is not enough.
When we stop, we can think. When we stop, we can see more clearly. When we stop, we can appreciate all that God has poured out into our lives this far and we are able to deepen our connection with Him. Do you ever plan 'stop days'? A day where you focus on nurturing yourself. No housework, no work, no 'must do' list to complete. Days where you spend it in prayer, reading and reflection. I find that when I shut out the distractions of life, turn off the mind chatter and slow down the pace, it is then that I hear His voice more clearly.
I love those moments when He speaks to me. When those words seem as though they have been written specifically for you, yet they are just some of many words on a page written by a person who has no idea of who you are or whose hands would gently hold their book. I love how He plants thoughts in your heart and mind. Thoughts that draw your attention and give you a fresh perspective.
Weariness. You are not my friend, you are my foe. When I give into you, you rob me of the abundance that God has for me. You tell me that I cannot achieve my goals. You tell me all these efforts will amount to nothing. You take down that path of misery and despondency. You would love to see me stay and chat over endless cups of coffee, contemplating what would be but never finding the courage or faith to pursue.
With a freshness that is only found in God, I lift my eyes. I remember the promises that God has given, the abundance of grace, love, mercy and know that that is the space where I want to be. In this moment, I remember that my chains are broken, burdens are lifted and through His love, I am restored for His work. All that I do, I do for Him. It is not my strength that will get me through life, it is His.
Please leave your thoughts below, I would love to hear from you.