I have seen it and experienced it. Not years ago...barely months ago. A change, a shift... unexplainable and undeniable. A change within...
You see it in the eyes. Tears build but not always burst. You hear it in the crackle of the voice. As they talk, you can hear that they speak from an emotional place. Hearts are worn on sleeves. This place in yourself is where the pressures, struggles and hassles of life accumulate. Overwhelm. I know the feeling and remember it well.
I am a how person. The possibilities run endlessly through my mind as I formulate a plan. I see a pathway that leads to a destination and envisage the journey ahead in detail. However, when that destination is not clear, the path unsure, it is then that uncertainty gathers, clarity is blurred and the chance of standing still increases.
Challenges wear us down. We question our place, our purpose. We readily put our hand's in the air in despair and say enough. We say it's too much, too hard and I cannot do this. Overwhelm. Our faith shakes and vision blurs. Clarity replaced by confusion. Calm replaced with chaos.
I woke up this morning with the words 'Sunshine and Rain' on my mind. I knew then that I needed to take a walk with God and ask him about this. So off I headed into the sunshine of the morning asking him to tell me more.
Over the next 20 minutes or so, he shared this with me...
As the waves crash over again and again...I feel like I am surrounded and my footing unsure. Surrounded by forces that push and toss me from side to side. Forces that try to push me down and throw me off balance.
I raise my arm, extending it upwards as far as I can go. My hand open to receive, to grasp, what lies above the waves.
Morning comes. Sitting at the table, the sun peaks over the horizon. That delightful first cuppa beckons and I take the sweet, quietness of dawn to gather thoughts, give thanks and prepare for a day ahead.
Light starts to trickle into the room. The freshness of dawn arrives and I wait to feel some warmth from the morning sun. Slowly light fills the room seeping into every corner.